Trail running lessons at 40: Why I don’t run with energy vampires
- Brittany Olson
- Aug 18
- 4 min read
August is my birthday month and I just turned 40. Which means three things:
Yes, I will celebrate all month long.
Yes, I will accept cake, beer, trail snacks, and maybe a new headlamp as gifts.
And no, I will not be running with energy vampires.
Let me explain.
Turning 40 feels a little like standing at the top of a long, rocky descent on the trails. You know there are still a lot of miles ahead, you know it’s not all smooth, but you also realize—you’ve learned a thing or two by now. You’ve got better shoes, better snacks, and hopefully better people beside you.
And that’s the biggest one: who you run with matters. On the trail, sure. But also in life.
What’s an energy vampire?
Not the Halloween kind. The people-kind.
Energy vampires are the folks who leave you drained every time you’re around them. Maybe it’s a training partner who criticizes your pace or your body. Maybe it’s a friend who makes everything about them. Maybe it’s someone who constantly stirs up drama but never does anything to make things better.
They can take a bluebird trail run and turn it into a slog just by showing up. And here’s the thing—trail running is already full of humbling moments. You don’t need extra weight from someone else’s negativity. The rocks, climbs, and surprise stomach rebellions are enough.
For a long time, I kept them around. Why? Because like a lot of women, I was taught to be agreeable. Don’t make waves. Keep the peace. Smile and deal. Even as a trail runner, that conditioning sneaks in—I’d keep running with people who made me feel worse just because I didn’t want to be “difficult.”
Here’s what I know now at 40:
You can’t out-positive an energy vampire. They will take until you have nothing left.
Boundaries are free. You don’t owe anyone your time, your miles, or your joy.
Joy is fuel. Protect it like your hydration pack. Because once it’s gone, you bonk.
Who you do want: energy givers
The flip side is beautiful. Energy givers make the hardest trail miles lighter.
These are the friends who:
Hand you a gel when you’re out (without judgment).
Remind you to look up and catch the view when you’ve had your head down grinding.
Laugh with you when you want to cry—or just cry with you when that’s what you need.
Respect your pace, your plan, and your boundaries.
When you’re with energy givers, you don’t just survive the miles—you actually finish feeling like you gained something. They don’t just help you run better; they help you live better.
And let’s be real—ultra runners are supposed to question why we’re out there sometimes. Usually around mile 40 when your toenails are plotting their escape or you’ve been climbing for what feels like days. But that’s the good kind of questioning. What you don’t need is a running buddy who makes you question yourself—your worth, your joy, your reason for showing up in the first place.
Why this matters more with trail running and big goals
If you’ve got a goal—whether it’s a 5K, a Rim-to-Rim in the Grand Canyon, or your first 50K—you cannot afford to give that precious energy to people who drain you.
Because training isn’t just about mileage or strength workouts. It’s about the emotional and mental fuel you bring into it. When you’re running on empty because of the company you keep, your tank doesn’t just run dry on the trail—it runs dry at work, at home, with your family.
As a women’s trail running coach, I see this over and over. The everyday trail runner who surrounds herself with energy givers doesn’t just stay more consistent in training—she shows up stronger in life.
At 40, I’m realizing my energy is the most valuable thing I own. And I get to decide who has access to it.
A quick birthday reflection
Honestly, this is one of the gifts of turning 40.
When I was 20, I didn’t even know boundaries were a thing. When I was 30, I thought I had to be everything for everyone.
Now? I’ve got no interest in wasting time. Not in training, not in work, not in friendships. Life’s too short and the trails are too good.
Shoes. Water. Good people. Those are my non-negotiables.
Want to hear the trail running story behind this?
I just dropped Episode 3 of Dirt Nap Diaries: The Company You Keep. In it, I share the story of a brutally hot, rocky, 20+ mile long run on the Mogollon Monster course—what could’ve been a total sufferfest, but wasn’t, because I was with the right people.
It’s proof that the company you keep changes everything for trail runners—especially for women’s trail runners balancing busy lives.
So, cheers to 40 years, a whole month of birthday shenanigans, and never running with energy vampires again. Protect your miles, protect your joy, protect your energy—because you’ve got big things to do. And you deserve to feel good doing them.
Good effort. Positive attitude.💛🧡⛰️
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