Trail Running and Comparison: Why You Feel Behind (Even When You’re Not)

Why do we spend time comparing ourselves to others or even to our past self? It doesn’t make sense.

Of course it’s fine to look back at how you’ve grown and changed. That’s not the issue. The issue comes from focusing so much on others or who you used to be that it takes away from your joy.

Maybe it shows up after a trail run where you were feeling so good and you go home, look at Strava and you let someone who ran faster get in your head and bring you down.

Maybe it shows up at work where you just finished a huge project but then see someone else getting more attention than you are.

Maybe it shows up at home when you’ve been wanting to lose some weight and you did, but then you start thinking about how you used to look years ago.

No matter what it is, it takes away from the thing that really matters and drains your energy (and time).

We also don’t talk enough about how this shows up for women specifically. We are constantly put in environments where comparison is the norm. Who looks better, who’s faster, who’s doing more, who “has it together.” It’s subtle sometimes, and sometimes it’s not subtle at all.

So when you find yourself comparing, it’s not just a you problem. It’s something a lot of us were taught, directly or indirectly.

That doesn’t mean we have to keep doing it.

Where Comparison Actually Starts (It’s Earlier Than You Think)

First of all, if you’re nodding along, definitely keep reading. But if this is causing some strong reactions already, don’t just take the words I’m about to give you…it might be time to get some professional help. I’ve gotten the help and it has done so much.

Let’s get to it.

Life is hard and even harder with the constant barrage of social media, easy access to news and just everything that is at our fingertips. We see so much of people “living their best life,” but we don’t necessarily see the real. We start thinking that people have their shit together or that their life is smooth going.

And maybe some do. But so much, especially on social media, isn’t that deep. We are seeing the highlights. This isn’t new and it isn’t news to a lot of you.

So why do we let it get into our heads so much? We all can post the highlights too and still have things going on in our lives that we aren’t sharing.

And for women, it can feel even louder. We’re not just comparing performance, we’re comparing bodies, effort, pace, how we show up, how we’re perceived. It stacks quickly.

Which is also why it can feel heavy so fast.

The Easy Fixes Help…But They’re Not the Work

There are easy things to do like I mention in my podcast—remove social media from your phone, unfollow people, put time limits on your phone, limit news to what you need to keep you informed.

That all is just the surface level stuff though.

What can be done to get past that comparison so you aren’t letting it take away from what you are doing?

Taking away from your joy.Taking away from your progress.Taking away from your energy.

I already mentioned one. Some of y’all (if not all) need therapy. That’s not said flippantly. That is said from my own personal experience and from listening to others’ experiences.

We go to a medical doctor when we have something physically wrong with us. Why not go to a mental health professional for mental and emotional well-being? The stigma around this has faded over time.

Little caveat here…healthcare is way too expensive and that needs to be called out. You may not have access to the help you need due to cost, location, resources, etc. In this country, getting the help you may need is a privilege. I don’t lose sight of that.

So if you can, seek that support.

If You Can’t Get Therapy, Start Here

But if you can’t, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck or that you just have to deal with comparison taking over your life.

A really good place to start is simply noticing when it’s happening. Not after you’ve already gone down the spiral, but earlier than that. That moment when you felt good about something you did and then, almost without thinking, your brain shifts to what someone else is doing or what you used to be able to do.

That shift happens fast. Most of the time we don’t even realize it’s happening, we just suddenly feel worse.

Once you start noticing it, you can pause and ask yourself a simple question: is this actually helping me right now?

And I don’t mean in some long-term, “this will make me better someday” kind of way. I mean right now, in this moment.

Because for most people, comparison isn’t actually helpful. It doesn’t motivate in a productive way. It just makes what you’re doing feel smaller than it is and pulls you out of your own process.

From there, it becomes about bringing yourself back to your reality. Your life, your schedule, your responsibilities, your energy. Not someone else’s training plan, not someone else’s pace, and not even a past version of you that was in a completely different season of life.

And if you can, start shifting how you look at other women doing big things. Instead of letting it pull you into comparison, let it be proof of what’s possible.

That doesn’t mean it will feel natural right away. Sometimes it’s going to feel forced at first. But over time, that shift from comparison to support is what actually builds confidence instead of tearing it down.

This Is Bigger Than Trail Running (But You See It There First)

This is something I see all the time with running, but it shows up everywhere. You can go out, have a solid run, feel proud of it, and then lose that feeling in less than a minute because of something you saw online. That doesn’t mean your run didn’t count or that it suddenly wasn’t good enough. It just means your attention got pulled somewhere else.

And that’s the part you can start to take back.

You don’t have to eliminate comparison completely. That’s not realistic. But you can get better at catching it sooner, questioning it, and choosing not to follow it every single time.

Why This Matters

Comparison doesn’t just affect your mindset. It affects your consistency, your confidence, and your ability to stay present in what you’re building.

When you’re constantly focused on what someone else is doing, it’s really hard to stay grounded in your own progress. It makes meaningful work feel small. It makes steady progress feel like it’s not enough. And over time, that’s what leads people to burn out or walk away from something they actually enjoyed.

And that’s the part that matters.

Because the goal was never to compete with every woman around you. The goal is to build something that works for you and to be part of a space where other women get to do the same.

Because you don’t lose your progress overnight. But you can lose your joy really quickly if you’re not paying attention.

So yeah…look back and appreciate how far you’ve come. Be inspired by others if that works for you. But don’t let it take away from what you’re doing right now.

Because the whole point isn’t to outdo the person next to you or chase some past version of yourself that had a completely different life. It’s to stay in your lane long enough to actually see what you’re capable of.

And if you can do that…you’ll probably realize you were never behind in the first place.

Good effort. Positive attitude.💛🧡⛰️